I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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