The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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