So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize