I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
