can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
