Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have aggressive nipples.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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