Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
