i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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