My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
