How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
