They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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