my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize