you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is Oprah even human
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
