if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
