mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My hand turned me down
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
