There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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