i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
