Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
