If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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