I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
