He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
