Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i think im in europe. pls send help
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
