There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
