I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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