Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
