Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
