Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That accounts for only three of the penises
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
