so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
