I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
