Apparently you make a good broom.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
