The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
