so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
