Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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