You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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