why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
