NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize