you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize