True but thats because hes a fetus.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
