xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
