Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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