we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
