Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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