Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
