thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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