Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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