Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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