feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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