On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
