If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
