yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
