He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
