did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
