Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
