the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
