My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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