I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
