Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
