Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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