IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
