just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
