i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
