help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We named our party play list daddy issues
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
