Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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