escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
