Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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