BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
