Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
