Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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