just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
false alarm, still single
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
