So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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